THIS WEEK: Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988), Nightmare Sisters (1988), Leeches! (2003)
Shawn Glinis has never seen a single David DeCoteau movie about shirtless hunks taking showers. We're doing our best to help him live a less shameful and embarrassing life.
Steve's Chili Recipe
1 1/2-ish lbs ground beef (nothing too lean you weirdo. 80/20 or better. Usually I just grab a prepackaged 80/20 that’s a little over 1 lb)
1/2 lb-ish thick-cut bacon, chopped (about 6 strips but fuck it man go wild if you want)
1 can (15 oz) of each: light red kidney, black, pinto, beans drained.
1 can (15 oz) fire roasted diced tomatoes with juice
1 small can (6 oz) tomato paste
2 big ass shallots, chopped (you can use 1 regular onion, sweet or red, instead if you’re lame—just don’t use white onion)
1 red bell pepper, chopped (orange is fine too I guess. Just don’t use green)
1 big jalapeño, chopped. (Use a serrano if you need more heat and want people to think you’re interesting)
2 and 1/2 cups beef stock (maybe 3. Keep an eye on your liquid levels and add more if you need it for your desired consistency)
1 T dried oregano
2 T chili powder
2 t cumin
2 t cinnamon
2 t kosher salt
1 t ground black pepper
1 t smoked paprika
1 t crushed red pepper
2 T Worcestershire sauce (only use Lea & Perrins unless you don’t respect yourself)
1 T minced garlic (you can do more if you want. it’s garlic. Go crazy. No one will question you.)
1 big squirt Siracusa (this is for a little extra flavor, not heat)
brown ground beef. Drain. Dump into chili receptacle. Brown bacon in same pan. Give the chopped veg a quick sauté in the fatty bacon pan. Scrape everything (yes, all those good brown bits too) into your main Chili cooking receptacle. Add everything else and give it a good stir to combine.
How to cook it all:
Stock pot - low heat for a long ass time, cover, stir occasionally
Slow cooker - low for 6 hrs
Instant pot/Pressure cooker - chili setting, 15-20 mins. 19 seems to work well. Vent after and you’re good.
Serve with sour cream, chopped scallions, cilantro, shredded cheddar and cornbread on the side